Sunday, October 19, 2014

My Life Flashed Before My Eyes

A long deep breath...
A long sigh......

"....to be young and reckless", a weird thing to be said by a 22 year old, who never worked a day in his life, still a kid you might think, but no, we got old....someone pressed fast-forward when we were 17.

How do we feel so old at a really young age? Well the answer is simple and pretty obvious, It's all the "Shit" we've been through, we've witnessed a lot of shit for 20 year olds.

Well, that was a proper introduction to discuss the shit we've been through, but no, we're not doing that.

Because simply we've been through too much to discuss, Seriously...A lot.
We've been young, naive, shocked, determined, hopeful, victorious, ambitious, deceived, back stabbed, traumatized, and tortured.

We've been through enough shit to see or conceive....The Flash.

The expression "My life flashed before my eyes" is usually used after a near death experience. Like the one I had three years earlier, during one of the riots I witnessed, a riot control armored vehicle was speeding through crowds of people dispersing them, running them over, it missed me by an inch...an inch.
I should've seen "My life flashing before my eyes", I guess it flashed but I missed it since the vehicle was too close it blocked my vision....I never got to see my flash.

Three years later, we're just chilling...feeling old as fuck, the expression came up. One of us suggested to imagine "The Flash" and then it got a bit tougher, she suggested to choose 5 frames that concludes the flash, 5 pictures, 5 moments, that you would like them to be the last thing you'll ever see before falling into the abyss of the unknown.

I thought of it and got my "Flash" right away, I guess it has been on stand by for a while now.

This shit is really personal but here it goes, the first frame....

Me, both my brothers, my father, and my mother, in a car. Me, behind the driver's seat capable of seeing them all, in a closed car. It just popped into my head, I didn't summon this image, so it got me thinking, most people know I'm not a family guy, and I believe I'm not, and I really hate including my family in my life outside the household, at the same time, I hate intruders, I never even liked "visitors", or big family gatherings. But I like the little one, we're complete this way, or so I think, or so I thought.

I don't know, fuck it, I never summoned the image anyways, it just popped up.

The Second frame....

Me with my college friends goofing around and gathered at our favorite spot in our Guantanamo of a college. Sitting on benches, on the floor, standing around, acting goofy, stupid, almost retarded, like today's scene.
We were all sitting on the ground sharing biscuits dipping them in the single cup of tea we had in the middle of our circle, that's one example of the goofy stuff we do, this frame was just fresh, so it popped up, it symbolizes these guys in my life, they're the fun I had, they got a grip on a great piece of my heart *mo7n break* the  greatest I think. Everyone knows my friends have been my first priority for the past few years and they still are, I love them, I'm always myself when I'm around them, they gotta have a frame.

The third frame.....

I can hear the noise coming out of this image, because it's always noisy, no matter when you show up, whether it's 2 pm or 4 am you'll always feel alright and safe there, it's our beloved "Ahwa".
Whether you're a couple of people or a trio or even a group of 20 people you can always settle down on the nearest "Ahwa" nearby and stay for hours of fun.
Me and a few friends sitting around a table, whether we're playing cards, just talking, messing around, Beno throwing cards like a joker, Sherif throwing water at whoever pisses him off, El Zozz asking for a hell of a hookah for the day, all of us just waiting for the delivery guy to get us the pies we need, or even better....all of us eating out of the same Cheese Lovers "جبنة مشكل" pie and several pies afterwards creating a massacre of pies, this is our "Ahwa", our Sanctuary.

The fourth frame....

It's peaceful, calm, cozy, and home.
It's not a place, it's us, The Bros.
A few of my closest friends sitting around somewhere indoors, may be a place of ours, or someone's parents are away and we're invading his place, snacks of junk food and soda bottles are all around us, a couple of us playing Pro evolution soccer, the other four are playing cards while one is a sleep and another is taking goofy pictures with his almost dead corpse, one of our phones is ringing with his parent on the other side asking where the hell has he been for the whole day and the answer is always "مع العيال"....The Bros.

The fifth frame.....

It popped into my head, it was a memory of our glorious days, back in the time when we were the voice of the voiceless, it's really sad what we've become.
The fifth frame, THE RIOTS, the image of a street full of rubble, flames of burning garbage and tires, tiles broken to little pieces to form our infinite supply of defiance, Rocks.
Tear gas canisters falling from above, anonymous freedom fighters running to catch them with a rush, throwing them back at the regime's pawns, my life was threatened, but we were fearless, hence, Victorious.

The question is, would you like your flash to conclude? or include?

Would you rather like to include your favorite moments? Toughest experiences? Greatest achievements? Your loved ones? Your moments of glory? What would you include if you imagined your flash?

Or would you rather Conclude your outcomes in life? Your message? Your beliefs? Or Yourself?

Obviously I chose the frames that symbolized the people, places, spirits, experiences that made me the person I've been through my life, showing me the good side of me, the happy moments, the people I love, showing the real me, concluding my own soul.

Because at the end of the day you don't wanna die with a frown.

Conceive your Flash, you'll know what you cherish most.